The Happening. The Truth

Warning: Spoiler alert, kinda

On Tuesday I went to see The Happening. I knew full well that it wasn’t going to be amazing or even very good and if I’m honest, I’ve never really been all that impressed by M Knightrider’s work. I have, however always been fascinated by his stories, his ability to insert himself in all his movies and the way he tries to articulate what he seems to see as the purity of certain kinds of love, mainly as expressed in a traditional nuclear family.

It was ‘two toonie Tuesday’ at my local cinema so bargain!

So you may have heard that The Happening is all about plants releasing neurotoxins that make people feel disorientated and eventually suicidal. Well that does happen but as I saw the film it wasn’t so much about plants versus people as plants versus dogs.

Hear me out.

So the first time the attacks happen in major areas they occur in a park, which makes sense, lots of plants there, but also, a lot of dogs. Each set of establishing shots show a dog being walked or played with within the park.

Now as we know dogs piss and poop and they tend to do so on plants! On the grass, against a tree, into shrubbery, on the rose bush. Plants!

Plants understandably get more than a bit miffed of centuries of abuse by dog excretion and decide to strike back and being the smart organisms they are, hatch a plan that will rock the canine world.

Dogs are the most domesticated of animals, man’s best friend, trusting, obedient and loyal, so loyal and devoted to their masters that they would probably prefer to die than be with out them.

Aha!

So plants kill people – leaving the poor puppies of the North East of America humanless. When people start dropping in Central Park there is a quick shot of a dog attempting to return a tennis ball to the hand of its now intoxicated and soon to be dead master. Ha ha take that dogs! And take that M Night Shyamalanadingdong! I’ve worked it out, you’re not too clever for me.


Also for those that don’t know me I love dogs. I don’t love The Happening, but maybe I would if I had snuck in a hip flask and took a swig everytime the word ‘Happening’ was said by a character, maybe two swigs if it was said by the normally wonderful Zooey Deschanel who in this film constantly looks and acts as though she has taken reverse-ecstasy. Swigs of booze or spoonfuls of ice cream, either would have been ace.