The Happening. The Truth

Warning: Spoiler alert, kinda

On Tuesday I went to see The Happening. I knew full well that it wasn’t going to be amazing or even very good and if I’m honest, I’ve never really been all that impressed by M Knightrider’s work. I have, however always been fascinated by his stories, his ability to insert himself in all his movies and the way he tries to articulate what he seems to see as the purity of certain kinds of love, mainly as expressed in a traditional nuclear family.

It was ‘two toonie Tuesday’ at my local cinema so bargain!

So you may have heard that The Happening is all about plants releasing neurotoxins that make people feel disorientated and eventually suicidal. Well that does happen but as I saw the film it wasn’t so much about plants versus people as plants versus dogs.

Hear me out.

So the first time the attacks happen in major areas they occur in a park, which makes sense, lots of plants there, but also, a lot of dogs. Each set of establishing shots show a dog being walked or played with within the park.

Now as we know dogs piss and poop and they tend to do so on plants! On the grass, against a tree, into shrubbery, on the rose bush. Plants!

Plants understandably get more than a bit miffed of centuries of abuse by dog excretion and decide to strike back and being the smart organisms they are, hatch a plan that will rock the canine world.

Dogs are the most domesticated of animals, man’s best friend, trusting, obedient and loyal, so loyal and devoted to their masters that they would probably prefer to die than be with out them.

Aha!

So plants kill people – leaving the poor puppies of the North East of America humanless. When people start dropping in Central Park there is a quick shot of a dog attempting to return a tennis ball to the hand of its now intoxicated and soon to be dead master. Ha ha take that dogs! And take that M Night Shyamalanadingdong! I’ve worked it out, you’re not too clever for me.


Also for those that don’t know me I love dogs. I don’t love The Happening, but maybe I would if I had snuck in a hip flask and took a swig everytime the word ‘Happening’ was said by a character, maybe two swigs if it was said by the normally wonderful Zooey Deschanel who in this film constantly looks and acts as though she has taken reverse-ecstasy. Swigs of booze or spoonfuls of ice cream, either would have been ace.

So Sleek

I am a sucker for nifty design and this line of plasters and headache tablets look great and are green too. They also reminded me of how cool the packaging for Spiritualized's Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space was. I didn't buy the album as I knew I either wouldn't be able to burst the blister pack or feel guilt-ridden if I did, oh the drama of my teenage mind.

I suppose that is one thing about mp3s, yes they’re incredibly small, accessible and portable but they just aren’t package-able and as such won’t ever be quite as ace.

Kinder on trees though.

I Just Lost The Game

I just lost The Game and, as such I have to announce it.
If you are playing I'm sorry, you've just lost too.

Parentheses

The name of the blog comes from Parentheses by The Blow. One of my favourite in the shower songs.

Altogether a lovely thing indeed.

Dethklok Dethklok

If you haven't already you should check out the AV Club Dethklok tour diary. The tour rolls into Toronto tomorrow night and I am very, very excited.

Now Magazine also featured a great interview with Brendon Small in this week's issue. It is the cover story with Dethklok gracing the front page. It is pretty unusual as they very rarely choose a non-photo image for the cover.

I'll Ira Glass you in a minute

So I’ve listened to about 70 This American Life Podcasts over the last 3 months after rediscovering the show having not listened to it for around 3 years. I've also been watching the new season of the TV show and I think I may have my Ira Glass impression almost perfected. Now, to be clear I don’t sound anything like him. My voice, although nasal is definitely a lady nasal voice and my Scottish/Canadian twang does not match his sorta Chicago accent but it is the pacing and the cadence that I believe I have mastered and that is enough for me. I have a friend who can do the same thing with Walken – doesn’t sound a shade like him but when he busts-out a bit of Walken in the pub, jaws drop, his speech rhythms are so spot-on . Not sure if Ira is as recognizable or as impressive but if I ever unleash my mimicry on a group of people I’ll let you know how it goes down.

Speaking of TAL – they are doing a drive for money to sustain the free podcasts right now. I will be donating. If you like the show you might want to as well. Details are on their site thislife.org (not at all related to the foxy British drama comedy).